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Tag: friends

  • things to do

    I wrote this last year around April. 


    Gotta be a God to
    Ignore the silence.
    Gotta make all the friends
    And keep them at arm’s distance;
    Only talks of Drag Race and only your traumas,
    And how you’re a victim and how they hurt you—
    But tell them not to worry because you’ll never
    Ask a thing about them.
    Only if they’re into Survivor or into talking
    About your movie ideas—the ones you wrote out, all
    Of them, written out in single paragraphs.
    Doesn’t that sound fun?

    You gotta be in every group and every game.
    Gotta invite yourself to every party and every soiree,
    And remind your pals that whenever you invite yourself
    Over, that you’re still a victim—and how
    Badly they’re supposed to feel for you.
    That’s the only way they’ll laugh at your bad jokes.
    And then when you talk about the politics this one guy
    You were in love with believed, they’ll all believe
    You when you tell them that you’re misunderstood
    Because he is a Moderate!

    You gotta go to every concert and go watch every movie.
    Remember to show up on time for every event in the backroom
    Of Akbar and remind your friends—all of them—
    That they’ve got to join you.
    Like when you needed that fucking guy to go with you
    To that drag show because of the trauma with your mama.

    Remember—no need to talk.
    It’s okay that you’re there together,
    To be queer and to watch and do queer things,
    Saying the queerest things you can possibly regurgitate.
    That’s how you do it!

    You gotta start dressing like that asshole
    Who broke your heart—

    That way, you can look as though you’re over him, because YOU
    Know deep down that you’re better than him. I mean,
    Just look at yourself and all your new friends
    Who know you so well!

    Shit—while you’re at it—feel free to text the people
    In that AWFUL MAN’S corner.
    Remind them all that you’re still there and that it’s YOU
    Who is the victim.
    You Are A Victim,
    And that is a QUALITY TRAIT.

    Remember to wait at home until one of your new besties
    Realizes that you really need to talk to them
    About nothing at all.
    Really important—but that’s okay, because you’re new besties.
    All like the same things as you and therefore will hate
    The same people that you do.
    Especially—

    That FUCKING guy!

    Now, before they lie and say they gotta go after
    Forty minutes of quality time,
    Remember to pitch some chicken wings at Hi-Tops
    Because you’re not possibly ready to love your life alone.
    (They’ll probably say no, but that’s okay.
    At least you tried.)

    But never fear!
    Feel free to go to the club on your own and
    Stand alone in a sea of silence,
    With no clientele. You’ve gotta wait to see who comes.
    You’ve gotta wait to see if they come.
    And really—lowkey—you’re hoping that HE comes,
    Because you know—especially—how often he comes.
    Don’t worry about where the fuck he is.
    And don’t worry about using your alt-Insta
    To check his whereabouts.

    You’re not alone.
    I swear to God you’re not alone—remember—
    You’ve got LOADS of friends, TONS of friends
    Who know you so well!
    Even though you’ve forced yourself upon
    So many of them so quickly—

    That—
    Doesn’t—
    MATTER!

    Just look at all the memes you all share
    On the newly formed group chat
    They recently invited you to.
    You are not alone.
    You
    Are
    FULFILLED.

    You ARE doing all the things you said you were going to do.
    You did them.
    You did them all.
    You wanna—GOTTA—
    Show HIM that you did them all.

    Don’t worry about where the fuck.
    And don’t you DARE worry about who the fuck you are.
    You said you’re HERE.
    You said you’re QUEER.
    And yeah—he isn’t THERE,
    But you’re there to STAY, GODDAMN IT.

    Maybe it’s best you stop thinking about him.
    Maybe just—

    On second thought—just—you gotta make more friends.

    You gotta, just—make more friends.
    Who would know you otherwise, right?
    And I do mean,

    Like,

    All of you.

  • ‘I have so many friends!

    Look at them!

    Don’t you see them?

    Count em’ all!

    Betchya don’t get that every day.

    Have you ever seen such a thing?

    I have. It’s in-sane!

    None of them know me like I do and

    that’s

    fine!

    They’re mine to have!

    You should really try it out.

    I think you’d really like it.

    I know I do!’